Mike Bassett

Ricky Tomlinson

Acting

Karine Bassett

Amanda Redman

Acting

Lonnie Urquart

Philip Jackson

Acting

Dave Dodds

Bradley Walsh

Acting

Interviewer

Martin Bashir

Acting

Tommo Thompson

Phill Jupitus

Acting

Kevin Tonkinson

Dean Lennox Kelly

Acting

Smallsy

Robbie Gee

Acting

Gary Wackett

Geoff Bell

Acting

Self

Pelé

Acting

Dr. Hans Shoegaarten

Ulrich Thomsen

Acting

Geoffrey Lightfoot

Geoffrey Hutchings

Acting

Margaret

Angela Curran

Acting

Jason Bassett

Danny Tennant

Acting

Journalist

Sean Gilder

Acting

Journalist

Mark Burdis

Acting

Journalist

Nigel Lindsay

Acting

Self

Sue Barker

Acting

Self

Gabby Logan

Acting

Self

Keith Allen

Acting

Self

Natasha Kaplinsky

Acting

Self

Dickie Bird

Acting

Jack Marshall

Robert Putt

Acting

Deano

John Alford

Acting

Danny

Dean Holness

Acting

Parksey

Scott Mean

Acting

Harpsey

Terry Kiely

Acting

Gorgeous

Peter McGillycuddy

Acting

Berksey

Toby Redwood

Acting

Macca

Thomas Kenyon

Acting

Super

Andy Ansah

Acting

Smudger

Robert Campion

Acting

Sexy

Alex Lawler

Acting

Ossie

Dion Osborne

Acting

Normal

Danny Husbands

Acting

Perky

Declan Perkins

Acting

Grids

Phil Gridelet

Acting

Self

Jenny Frost

Acting

Self

Liz McClarnon

Acting

Phil Cope

Malcolm Terris

Acting

Manchester Rep

Ian Lindsay

Acting

Midlands Rep

Lloyd McGuire

Acting

Alan Massey

Chris McQuarry

Acting

Supporter

Stephen Walters

Acting

Self

Barry Venison

Acting

Self

Ronaldo

Acting

Benson

Kim Durham

Acting

Hedges

Robert Hudson

Acting

Scottish Player

Des Hamilton

Production

Scottish Player

Paul Rattray

Acting

Scottish Goalie

Neil Peplow

Production

Irish Player

Glen Mulhern

Acting

Footballer (uncredited)

Kevin Hudson

Acting